The Secretary Factfile
Manner of Birth Traumatic
Special Power Aggregation
Known Weaknesses Treachery, Cowardice, willfulness, advanced hair loss, failure to exhibit decently, manners or otherwise positive qualities. Loves to snoop, snitch and tattle-tale. Sloe gin.

The Secretary is the most base member of the Society. He is not to be trusted or even advanced upon for his ways are foul and nefarious. Bald, and becoming more bald by the second. He likes birds, but more than liking them, he looks at them and thinks about them. Isn't there something sick about such a compulsion? I don't know, but I am suspicious.

His own attempt to make a baby himself, carried out with tragic seriousness, fails shamefully. Can only be funny by using other people's material. Is always around at the wrong times. A genuinely boring peasant.

On a completely unrelated note, here are some phrases in French that describe baldness:

avoir le melon déplumé - to have a plucked melon

avoir une boule de billard - to have a billiard ball

ne plus avoir de cresson sur la cafetiére - to no longer have watercress on the coffeepot

n'avoir plus de persil sur le caillou - to no longer have parsley on the pebble

ne plus avoir de gazon sur la platebande - to no longer have a lawn on the flowerbed

avoir la casquette en peau de fesses - to have a cap made out of buck skin

avoir le tabouret dépaillé - to have a stool from which the straw has been removed

être chauve comme un genou - to be as bald as a knee

avoir un vélodrome à mouches - to have a velodrome for flies

montrer le bois de sa brosse - to show the wood of one's brush