|The Secretary Factfile|
|Manner of Birth||Traumatic|
|Known Weaknesses||Treachery, Cowardice, willfulness, advanced hair loss, failure to exhibit decently, manners or otherwise positive qualities. Loves to snoop, snitch and tattle-tale. Sloe gin.|
The Secretary is the most base member of the Society. He is not to be trusted or even advanced upon for his ways are foul and nefarious. Bald, and becoming more bald by the second. He likes birds, but more than liking them, he looks at them and thinks about them. Isn't there something sick about such a compulsion? I don't know, but I am suspicious.
His own attempt to make a baby himself, carried out with tragic seriousness, fails shamefully. Can only be funny by using other people's material. Is always around at the wrong times. A genuinely boring peasant.
On a completely unrelated note, here are some phrases in French that describe baldness:
avoir le melon déplumé - to have a plucked melon
avoir une boule de billard - to have a billiard ball
ne plus avoir de cresson sur la cafetiére - to no longer have watercress on the coffeepot
n'avoir plus de persil sur le caillou - to no longer have parsley on the pebble
ne plus avoir de gazon sur la platebande - to no longer have a lawn on the flowerbed
avoir la casquette en peau de fesses - to have a cap made out of buck skin
avoir le tabouret dépaillé - to have a stool from which the straw has been removed
être chauve comme un genou - to be as bald as a knee
avoir un vélodrome à mouches - to have a velodrome for flies
montrer le bois de sa brosse - to show the wood of one's brush